It doesn’t take a great deal of thinking, or observing to know whether you respect yourself enough to have a healthy self-esteem. But do not, for one single moment, believe that you can not change this within yourself/;
Time wise, we generally learn according to the discipline we attach to an outcome.
The equation is SIMPLE: Mission statement + Effort = Results.
Here is a little test that may help you to recognise the bits of yourself that require attention.
Simply respond with a TRUE or FALSE answer.
I feel confident in speaking about my attributes.
EG: education - accomplishments -abilities - beliefs
I feel confident in defending myself if someone crosses into my personal boundaries .
Though I understand there must be some conflicts that arise in my life, I’m also able to stand up for myself if necessary,
I accept myself for who I am, how I dress, how I think, how I connect to others and how I live my life daily.
It’s easy for me to balance all areas of my life and not be stressed.EG: family - work - me time -
Any time a problem confronts me, I can think rationally and resolve things without allowing a situation to cloud my judgment.
I understand the part that I play with the people involved in my life. family friends, acquaintances and I can adjust my behaviour and thought patterns to guarantee there is harmony and not conflict
I’m satisfied with the things I’ve achieved to date in my life. There is no more for me to learn.
Feelings of insecurity and anxiety with others does not affect me when I’m in new environment
When I know I’m not at my best, I do all that I can to improve.
It you chose False for at least 4 of the questions, its probably time to think about what you can do to love yourself more. In other words, increased your self-esteem. Everything comes down to loving yourself.
Shifting the thought patterns , dropping the blame and guilt.
You’ll easily recognise what it is that you might like to work on, by considering the following.
Your feelings of self-worth are minimal and you judge yourself as a lost cause.
You need the approval of others for most of the choices you make. Even to what you are wearing.
You don’t contemplate the outcome enough before making decisions, and as a consequence take irrational risks
Everything you do for others is underpinned by a fear of rejection.
You find yourself building up false images and irrational thoughts of what people might think of you and create outcomes, that in the end, never come to pass.
You tend to blend in with otters without exposing your true personality in case you are judged and/or rejected.
You believe you are always being judges or critiqued for your size, your position in life, your personality, your decisions, your beliefs.
You find it extremely difficult to be assertive without your inner child becoming involved.
You look for the approval of others to feed your insecurities
Your past performances in study or working life have not been the best, so you counteracted this by taking your learning and work achievements to the extreme - either way attention to balance is called for here.
You find it challenging to solve a problem on your own and don’t feel confident about outcomes.
You feel depressed about how your life has turned out and consequently respond with a sense of desperation, hopelessness and/or depression
When low self-esteem is in residence, we become vulnerable to anxiety, stress. We find it difficult to maintain a sense of balance which follows on to create self-destructive, counter - productive behaviour. Over eating, alcohol, gambling , drug abuse. circumstances that bring us down and keep us chained to the never ending cycle of negative behaviour.
The person with low self-esteem is as clever and as nibble as a fox.
They do this by masquerading, by acting out the ‘perfect personality’ .
The trouble with this exhaustive effort is that they make themselves sick. They keep on, keeping on, never considering the affect it is having on their mind, body and soul.
Avoiding facing ourselves , to understand what it is we need to do to grow, is procrastination at its best.
Nothing can be achieved without a genuine desire to make a difference.
The emotion of anger should not be disregarded here either.
A full frontal attack at someone with low self-esteem will leave them seething inside, plummeting them into that heinous thought process of ‘not being good enough.’
They do NOT LIKE being found out.
Nobody likes to be criticised. But a person with low self-esteem will live in a round-the- clock fear of being discovered for ‘who they believe themselves to be’ . Which is very rarely what others may think.
People with low self- esteem see themselves as, victims - defeated - unable to succeed.
Coping with life is something every human has to face.
Nobody is impervious to the challenges, and lessons.
This is what we are here to do, to grow and grow and grow.
Self-pity, or maintaining an indifference to those around them is but a safe-guard, a very flimsy one at that.
Fear as we all know is ‘false evidence appearing real’.
No matter how hard we might try to avoid the responsibility of ‘caring for ourselves’ , eventually, whether its in this life or another thris has to be faced.
We have to be brave enough to ‘face ourselves’
If we sell ourselves short, we give away our power.
Tomorrow in Part 3 I’ll expose the image of a person with a flourishing ‘self-esteem’.
Love Elizabeth x
Nobody but you - can be you! 💚