Self - Esteem Part 3 of 3

So here we are - Part 3 - the final act.

What is the trigger that holds a person back from having self-esteem?

Was it the upbringing throughout childhood?

Was it the teenage years?

Was it a rejection we experienced? A harsh word? Abuse?

You will know, if you think about this enough.

I’d like you to understand FULLY that nobody escapes some form of negativity in their lives.

Any situation that challenges you is a BIG test.

Do to be afraid of these tests.

They are not presented to destroy belief in you worth, in fact they are the complete opposite.

Those tests are teaching you to TRUST yourself

So how do people who exude self - esteem get to that point?

They have established in their own mind that they’re worthy of love.

Worthy to be cared for and nurtured on every level.

They accept they are entitled to be loved, first by themselves and then by others.

To be appreciated for their thoughts and actions, as such, they offer the same support to others.

It can only ever be about your journey to date, if you lack of self-esteem.

That trigger plummeted you into a world of self- denial.

The thought process of a person with respect for themselves is always constructive and encouraging.

The inner thought process for a person who does not regard themselves as worthy repeatedly criticising themselves, metering out punishment and denigrating themselves and their mastery.

A person with high self-esteem creates an image of themselves and then lives up to that image. They accept their mistakes and the consequences for them. They do not shift blame and use someone or something else as a scapegoat. They meet life and the challenges head on taking full responsibility for all that happens in their world.

They are also not self-centred ,more so they are altruistic and hold a genuine concern for others.

In fact they are very good at supporting others to work through their responsibilities.

Most importantly they have been able to achieve BALANCE.

Coping with stress, handling problems and conflicts by maintaining a sound perspective.

Being able to laugh at themselves.

They rarely have a huge ego, in fact, they are most always very humble.

They have a sense of where they are going.

They recognise the situations that may have brought them down to a place where lack of self-esteem exists. They work earnestly to make themselves a better person, and because of that they know where they are now and where they are now going.

We all have potential. No one person is more privileged than another

Here are some ‘brilliant’ ideas that might just help you to achieve the balance to have a more fulfilling life.

Where does this magic come from - it lives in a place that is 15 cm long - the brain . Imagine that!

This body we exist in, as an average is 1600 cm tall. So 15cm is not that much when you think about it.

But there you go, we aren’t the size of a computer chip , but we are just as capable of storing just as much rubbish. Thousands of thoughts filed and poked at constantly,

So who’s in charge you or your inner-voice?

We all have an inner- voice , but we are the keepers. When a prisoner is being made ready for release, they are given ways to rebuild their lives. To combat the ‘ urges’ that landed them there in the first place.

The inner - voice can either be unfairly harsh of its can be reassuring. Your choice!

The inner-voice is irrational - the inner-voice can also be instructed with a positive command. Your choice!

The inner-voice can also be extremely unreasonable - it can also be totally logical. Your choice!

The inner-voice can make a mountain our of a mole hill -

Example; “ They didn’t invite me to that special dinner and someone going asked if I’d like to go with them. I felt hurt, humiliated, totally embarrassed. I don’t think I’m worthy of being liked. It must be because there is something wrong with me.”

A positive inner - voice will think; “Well they didn’t want be present and that ok because it obviously wasn’t the right engagement for me to be at. There will be other times . It doesn't mean I’m not liked. I know I’m a good person and that’s all that matters.”

When that delinquent inner-voice begins to put you down - counteract it with a positive image and thought.

You know that kind of negative thinking is not accurate!

You have total control of the drivers seat. Your choice!

Any form of personal change require discipline.

You have every opportunity to transform your thinking and therefore yourself. It costs NOTHING!


The requisite for change is consistency.

Becoming vigilant about your thought processes is essential.

Give yourself permission to grow.

Remember, you are never given a challenge that you cannot handle. Let go and look for the best in yourself and in others. Take responsibility for your life and enjoy the fruits of your efforts. Let go of guilt .

Relax - for goodness sakes - just relax.

Open yourself up to love and remember to be loved you just love yourself first.

Believing in yourself is taking an enormous step towards self growth and therefore self-esteem which allow you to realise your full potential as a valued citizen of the human race.

If you need help to achieve a positive outcome I have a number of consultation that would be of great value.


From the humblest of beginnings, Bethlehem Tilahun Alemu has built soleRebels into the planet's fastest growing African footwear brand. She has created world class jobs, empowered her community and country while presenting a galvanized, dynamic face of African creativity to the global market.